by: Esther
This is the eve of my surgery, and with all your prayers, love and faith in God...keeps me smiling, relaxed and with good spirits, leaving everything in God's hands.
Yes, I am aware you are all shocked, so with my family and my doctors. One episode of chest pain and my heart will be thoroughly checked and overhauled tomorrow morning. So sorry friends and relatives, I will be relaxed and asleep while you are all thinking of me.
Am so very blessed Ben's partner who is on vacation decided to come back and give Ben (Arthur) the needed break, the rest of the week off, and making sure that there will be two cardiac Anesthesiologists helping the surgeon.
Almost all the tests were done but the last one (cardiac catheterization) made my doctors decide to do an Open Heart surgery. Fortunately, my heart muscles are still strong and no evidence of damage. All the nurses and medical staff are so wonderful, kind and caring...really enjoyed the extra blankets that kept me warm, their hugs of care and empathy. My thoughts were distracted by their stories about my husband how good he was with patients and co-workers. I was asked what music I would like to listen to, told them, .."of course Christmas songs." We had good talks while the procedure was going on. Unfortunately, the test was bad news....the cath lab Nurse looked sad; my husband was asked to come to my side to comfort me. Ben was shown all x-rays while the procedure was being done.
It then became hectic. We met with the surgeon and three of my medical doctors. All decided what was best thing for me has to be done. More blood tests and x-rays, etc., I was really getting tired and hungry the past couple of days. But it is worth it! I think I feel lighter now, ha, ha!
I am so amazed the good Lord provided me with caring people. It all started with an Echo. The sweet lady in pink, chose me and sent the other two technicians to do the other patients. We had great conversation while she was testing me. I found out that her husband died of cancer...that started my sharing Ben's book, "Choosing to Live," CD of Sacred Songs by my friend Glori Gage and the book authored by another friend, Raymond Puen, "Is That In The Bible?" Before she left, she asked me if she could give me a hug, surprised and I told her, "..of course, you may!"
One lab technician came but saw me sound asleep and decided to come back. The first thing he said before taking my blood, "For Open Heart?" I answered , "Yes." And he added, "You don't look like one :)"
All my children are keeping me company even though I tell them not to take off from work. But they still did. I do understand, maybe if I were in their shoes, I would do the same. Happy and thankful they can also keep their dad company, especially with their Ipads, Kindle Fire, etc. I am not as good working these latest technologies, like them.
Ethan and the two boys of my new found friend's children will also serve as my inspiration as I enter the operating room. Their cute and precious smiles will help me fight a good fight...would love to see everyone again especially to meet the two cute boys in person, Trent & Spencer (pictures below)...
The hugs & smiles, the words, "You are in my prayers," are so sweet to hear.
My heart vessels may be blocked but coming out from my heart is overflowing with love to you all.
I feel good and encouraged but sad to see my husband with tearing eyes, but we remind each other, God's plan is the best and there's reason for everything. We have to keep and strengthen our trust in the Lord no matter what.
This morning, I was able to get fresh air and feel the heat of the sun. Thanks God for sunshine the first day of winter. While in the hospital, I feel and wanted to be independent doing things myself, then I saw the sign: "CALL Before You Fall." This made me think and say, CALL "GOD" BEFORE YOU FALL!"
A friend sent me this special message and quote, " My dear Es, you are strong, and spirited and have so many more exciting things to share and so I know that you will be successful in your surgery tomorrow. You are not alone for God is with you, as He is each and every day. And all of us who love you are with you too!! When you are preparing for surgery tomorrow say this beautiful prayer, "I encircle myself, my care givers, my doctors, my surgeons, this hospital with the white light of God's love and infinite protection." You my dear Es, will be surrounded in God's light....God's love!!!
Merry Christmas everyone...tomorrow, Friday, will be my surgery. Jesus rested on Saturday and rose up on Sunday. Hoping and praying I will do the same! Love you all and if I said and did anything wrong to you, please forgive me.
